I vent about my life to Lindsay Lohan because she stole my bike.
I WOKE UP NAKED NEXT TO JUSTIN BIEBER BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM.
i stalked kristen steward because she stole my bike.
I ballroom danced with Angelina Jolie because I have 6 months to live. (Oh Ok)
i fucked tiger woods because i’m in love with him.
I started a band with Brad Pitt because I got blackmailed into it
i started a band with Channing Tatum because im in love with him